today i spent most of my time in front of my computer trying to figure out what happened to my diary... i get really pissed off by the opendiary so i decided to use blogger instead... well, i tried to change my diary description you see, then i wanted to edit and change again... that's when the problem comes in... the bloody stupid save icon just wun work!
i thought that i can try later.. maybe it's juist a temporary 'cock up'? but i was wrong... so by the hundredth time i cannot figure out what's wrong... i decided it's time to move on... so here i am... i'm still experimenting on this new blog... haha... so pardon me if it gets too messy... i just realised i can just type out the font color i want... dun need to remember all those colour codes! so happy.. coz i really dun wan to use my brain for memorising all those numbers right now...
oki... to top it all... i've been having cramps ever since the instance i opened my eyes... argh... so basically today didn't go as smoothly as i thought it would be...
just now chatting to nel... discussed abit about someone's situation... well, this whole thingy is getting abit out of hand... i do understand the helplessness... it's like you are watching someone close falling further into a hole yet you can practically do nothing to help... you may tend to blame yourself, but please don't okay...
she has to learn to help herself... as in if she has taken people for granted, then she'll have to bear the consequences... she may not deserve that you may think but you know you tried your best right... and we all know she's stubborn... basically, she's deaf now... not in the right state to listen to anyone... to hear the correct things...
she may be blaming us coz she's too into it... afterall she may have thought she found what she needs and wants... which she thinks can benefit much more than other ways... that's why she doesn't mind her doings now... friends are always there... people who can help you when you needed them to... she may think... you know?
i still think she needs to help herself... if not nobody can help her... like i said, it takes 2 hands to clap... how to save someone drowning when you stretch out your helping hand only to realise she smack it away? i guess time can prove everytihing... (duh, that's what everybody says)... there's nothing much you can do... of course do not proclaim you don't want to be her friend... you are not going to lose her... she'll come back someday... i'm sure...
probably not like the past that's true but at least you get to keep the memories... you don't just lose a friend ike that... never... we shall see...
thanks nel... for reminding me of my past... which seems vague... i even forgot whether i apologised... Low, i really cannot remember totally what happened but i'll like to apologise for what i've done that hurt... come to think of it, i'm appalled by my childishness and stupidity... funny eh... how come i cannot remember? hmmm... but what happened changed me... it had quite an impact on my life...
it's hard to explain some things lar... sometimes you forget things to keep yourself from brooding over it... or it may be you don't want to remember the bad times... or... you just don't want to face the situation... there are two kinds of solution... one is to trash it out, the other being letting time sort of like 'fade' your memories... in this case... it's definitely the latter... perhaps you don't want to resolve it anymore... or maybe someday you'll find the answer... who knows? whatever it is... i belive we've all grown up... mature enough... think i should start to figure out my past... hee~
"ReLatIoNsHiPs oF aLL kInDs, aRe LiKe sAnD hELd lOoSeLy iN oUr hAnDs. tHe mInUtE yOu sQueEzE iT tIgHtLy tO hOLd oN, tHe sAnD tRiCkLeS tHrOuGh yOuR fINGeRs..." .:dAbEe:. 10:33 PM
