tOdAy iNeZ jUnMiNg sHeLdoN aNd bEnJaMiN cAmE oVeR fOr a 'sWim'... yEaH... dRy oNe La... pLayEd mAhJonG tiL aRoUnD 5pm... tHe gUyS gOtA bOoK iN yOu sEe... mEaNwHiLe i wAtCh tV LoR... BiLLbOaRd mUsIc aWaRds... yEah! hIp hOp rULeS mAN... yOYo, cHeCk iT oUt... wAHaHaHA...
wAntEd tO gO oUt mEeT uP wItH kEL (mAN, hOw LoNg nEvEr sEe hIm LiAO?) bUt i nOt hEaLtHy eNoUgH tO LeAvE mY hOuSe yOu sEe, aCcOrdInG tO mY mUm... hAiz... wHaT tO dO? sO iN tHe eNd tMr aFtEr wOrK tHen gO oUt LoRz... hE wEnT oUt wItH gF La...
iT'S rEaLLy bOrInG tO bE sTuCk aT hOmE... hEnG cAN gO oNLiNe... aCtUaLLy iF i wAN gO oUt iS nO pRObLeM La, bUt i oSo kNow nOw nOt fEeLiNg wEll sHoUlD bE sTaY aT hOmE gEt rEaLLy weLL tHEn gO oUt bEttEr... yUpZ, sO LiKe tHaT LorZ.. sUm mOrE nEeD tO sAvE mOnEy qUiTe bAdLy (mY fAmILy gOt fInAncIaL dIffIcULtY)... sO sTaYiNG hOme iS tHE bEsT oPtIon iT sEeMs...
at the moment i really hope to return to my school days man... it's so pressurising to work lorz... my family like depending on me like that... okie, i know it's definitely not that serious but it's disgusting to hear them ask money from you again and again when the moment i receive my pay i already give them!!! yesterday was the last day of april rite... the moment i step into my house my mum asked,"so you got your pay yet? can give me liao hor?" FUCK LA... can't i even put my things down and go wash up first?
it's really so ironical... they keep telling me not to worry about the family's finances... can i? i doubt so... i don't earn as much as they think lor... definitely not this month... deducting transport fare and phone bill, internet bill and their allowances... i'm left with practically nothing can... that's why i got a second job... if not how to save for uni? argh... yes, that reminded me... i'm supposed to save up for uni... that's what they say too... but what are they doing? do they expect me to work work work and work? then no work stay at home? so my expenses will be only on transport? ha, then dun ask me to study lar... might as well continue working lor... apparently that's what they hope...
but duh... i need my own life right... why can't i spend my money on shopping if they can spend on cigarettes and clothes? then still got the face come tell me they need money to pay my sis tuition fees? how many times have i paid for my sis expenses? not that i dun wan to pay but there's a limit okay... how did you manage to pay in the past when i'm not working? yes, now i'm working and i should be paying for family's expenses and i'm doing it... just don't push me to the limits alright? for goodness sake, i've only been a part-timer for 3 months! i'm just not ready for all these shit... your actions are really discouraging me from studies you know.. and please mum... the next time i give you money to pay phone bills... DON'T ever use it for other uses... i dpn't wish my line to be cut off and then to pay the reconnection fee... it's BLOODY wasting my resourses...
you know everytime my grandparents and aunt start giving me money and ask me to keep them i feel really awkward... well, if i'm not earning income at the moment, i'll feel less ashamed of course but then... what's happending now? i refuse to take money from them... seems like i'm torturing myself eh, got money dun want take... haa~ i do know they've talked to you many times... scolded you even.. but what's the point? do you listen? no... obviously you don't. or you choose not to? i don't know... now i really wonder whether i made the right choice then... to come back and live with you... maybe if i didn't i'll feel much better now?(hmmm, do i have a choice even?) as much as i know you love me... don't want me to worry about alot of things... just want me to study well and get a job that pays well, can support the family in the future... i don't see it from you...
pa, how long more are you going to remain childish and deceive me? i'm really sick of this... sick of you... are you sure both of you are my parents?
okay, seems like i'm getting heated over here? probably, but i need to vent my frustration on something... somewhere... argh... i promise i'll take care of you, dun worry... true, i do perform under pressure... but not TOO much of it! please stop giving me all these shit! the more you ask from me, the more i don't wish to give... ma, more than half of my pay is contributed it seems... ever since i started work... can i take a break? if this continues... i'll rather not work... i'm not there yet you know... who knows... if this goes on you may not see me anymore...
