sTiLl sEaRcHiNg...

Monday, October 27, 2003

 
Saturday 25 October 2003


uNiNtENdEd wORDs...


sOmeoNe bROuhgt bAck hOpe tO mE... aFtEr i'vE lEaRnt tO bUrY tHE uNrEaLisEd dEsiRe... Erm, nOT tHAT iT wAs suPPoSeD tO bE tHis wAy... bUt i tOt iT woUld bE nIcE tO rEcEiVe sTh fRM sOme ppL u tAKe gReAT cONcErn iN... fOR a dAY i tHiNk iS iMpT tO mE... tHeRe aNd tHen, i rEgReTtEd sAyINg wAt i sAid... 'fOrgEt iT lAr'... iT's hArd tO dEscRiBe hOw iT fELt tHen... oR eVen nOw... oF cOs iF iT mEans aN oPpOrtuNiTy tO fiNaLLie hAvE aT lEaSt a sHoRt 'rEuNiOn', i'LL bE dELiGhTed... bUt aS i'Ve sAid... i'Ve lEaRnt tO bUrY tHaT.. aND tAke nOTe iT tAKes nOT a sHoRt tiMe tO do So... i'D bE lYiNg iF i dENy tHE fAct tHAt i diD eXpEct sTH.. bUT the tHIng iS sO wHAt?!?!?! oNLy tO fEeL dIsaPPoINtEd... jAsC, i cONfiRM oPtiON d... cHAnGe tO aNOtHEr dEssErt.. i kNow tHIs is nOT tHe time... aND i'm fINe.. sErioUsLy.. oK gUYs... aLL tHe bEsT fOR uPcOMiNg eXaMs~!



SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct. This 127-year-old
"aggressive hunter of the underworld"
combines a mastery of ancient weaponry with
modern pleasures, such as driving Jaguars and
using computers. However, Selene's ambitions
are suppressed by Kraven. She longs for
Viktor's reawakening so that he becomes the
Vampire's regent once again.

Ever wish
you could be a vampire?
href="http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=Archangel">Then
Click Here to become a Vampire!


Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



A GARAGE-GURL. Youre into loud music, hot guys and
wild fashions. Youre most at ease when youve
got all your mates around you and you like to
party. Boys are a game and youre always on the
ball because you make sure youre always number
one.
Your virtues: Confidence, fun nature, sociability.
Your flaws: Loudness, jealous tendency, need for
attention.


What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


.:dAbEe:. 8:06 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2003

 
Thursday 16 October 2003


hApPiE biRtHdAY~


.... tO ShIgUaNg yEp...


aCcEptEd wiSdOm``


Tree


The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love alot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her.
I really like her.
Like her innocence,
like her frankness.
Like her cuteness,
like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me.
I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish.
I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her.
I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watch me chase after gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.
She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off.

The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom.
She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something.
I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her.
There was once when both of them quarreled.
I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked.
I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.

The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.
After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her.
She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too.
I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together.
I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while.
A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting.
His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it.
It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest.
I couldn't breath.
Wanted to shout but can't.
Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry.
How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp.
It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry.
I haven't read it since then.
It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"


Leaf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so
long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.

The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness.
But after a mth, he got together with another gal.
I like him & I know he like me.
But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move?

Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, my heart was hurt.
I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love.
If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend.
Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits.
But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.
You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, love him.
Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me.
It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms.
I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him.

The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up.
Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting.
The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me.
Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart.
He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.

In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my
heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...


Wind

Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away.

When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school.
I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer.
During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.
Be it alone or with her friends looking at him.
When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes.
When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.
Looking at her became my habit.
Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear.
I felt something amissed.
I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.
The senior as also not there as well.
I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her.
Tears were in her eyes while he left.
The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him.
I walked over and smiled to her.
Took out a note & gave to her.
She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note.

The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away

It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.
I know that the person she loves is not me.
But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.

Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.
Every time, she will divert away from the topic.
But I never give up.
If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.
I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.
Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend.

I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head"
She replied loudly.

I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell.
During the moment when she opens the door.
I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.
Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...



.:dAbEe:. 9:04 PM

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

 
Monday 6 October 2003


tIrEd~!


sTaRtEd sCHoOL aT 10aM... lUNcH aT 12pm... pRojEct diScUssiOn aT 1 pM... LessOn aT 3pM... lEssON eNds aT 6pM... mEeTinG fOr nVaC sTuFf aT 6pM... mEeTINg eNdEd aT 11pM... rEaCheD hOme 11.30pM... aTe diNnEr aT 12.15aM... sTaRt doInG tUe's tUt aT 12.30aM... cOmPleTeD aT 2.30aM... sLePt aT 3.15aM...
wOw... aM oN mY wAY tO bEcOMIng wAlkIng zOmbIe... hUrm... tHINk paNda sOUnds cUtER... *crasiness*


Sunday 5 October 2003


~LeGaL diScUssIoN~


hAr... iT's a sUndAY... sUpPosEd tO sLeeP tiLL aFtErnOoN... bUt dRaGgEd mYseLf oUt tO sChoOL fOr biZ LaW tUT diScUssiOn (janet alice qiuxia kailee me)... hAiz... aNyHow... iT wAs qUiTe fUn lAr... wE WeNt tO LiBrAry tO bOoK a sEmiNaR rOoM TheN sTaRt dIscUssInG... dIsTrACTed aLoNg tHe wAY... hEe~ tHen coUlDn'T rEaLLy fiNisH bUt i wAs sUpEr hUngRy AnD aLiCe gTg, so yEp... eNded oUr aBt 2 hOuR gATHERing, hEe~


hErCuLes gAtHeRiNg~


wEnT tO RoBiN's pLaCe... rEaCheD liKe nEaR 3Pm... aM tHe lAsT tO rEaCh... tHe ResT gOt (liduan shaoyong isna lyna kaili zhaoyong waiying yonghui zhaofeng jingting)... wHaT wE diD? hURm... wAtCh vCd, sEe pHoTos, yEaR bOoKs, mAsTeRpiCes bY tHe hOsT *winkz*, pLaYed gAmEs... sIng sOngs... hEhz... tHen 6 oF uS (robin shaoyong zhaofeng liduan yonghui me) wEnt wEsT CoaSt mARkEt fOr diNnEr... maNaGeD tO sQuEezE oUrsELvEs iNtO sHaOyOng's cAR tHo tHe pLaCe nOt fAr frOm RoBiN's pLaCe... hAhah.... aFtEr diNNer wEnt gInzA pLaY pOoL... wE wErE taLkng aBoUT sCaRY sTuff aLoNG tHE wAY... sO whEn onE oF uS waNts tO gO tOiLeT jUs b4 wE gO pLaY pOoL... aLL oF uS dEciDed tO wALk tHerE tOgEtHer, hAha... abIt sTupId hOr, bUt wEll, fUn laR, haha... tHe reSt sHun bIan gO tOiLeT lOrz... hee~
iT wAs fUN... eNjOyed mYseLf lAr... hOme sWeEt hOMe tO pIa tUt aT aROuNd 10.30pM... *yawns*


.:dAbEe:. 7:46 PM